A second marriage ceremony script

Processional 2 min

[The couple enters together, or with their children walking beside them. Guests remain standing until the officiant invites them to sit.]

Welcome 2 min

Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome. Please, be seated.

We are here for the marriage of [Partner A] and [Partner B]. Nearly everyone in this room has watched at least one of them build a life, come through something hard, and start again. You know what today cost to get to, which is exactly why it is worth standing up for.

So this will not be a ceremony that talks about two people at the beginning of everything. It will be a ceremony about two people who know precisely what they are promising.

What we are not pretending 3 min

[Partner A] and [Partner B], nobody here is going to pretend this is the start of your lives. You each arrived with a history: years that were good, years that were hard, and a set of things you learned slowly and at some cost. That history is not something to be tidied away before a wedding. It is the reason you know what you are doing today.

People who marry young promise to love each other through a difficulty they cannot yet picture. What you two are promising is a harder thing and a braver one. You have met the difficulty. You know what a marriage actually asks on a bad week. And you are saying yes anyway, with no illusions left to lose.

[If one partner has been widowed, add here: And nobody is being asked to forget anyone today. Love does not run out, and a heart that has grieved is not a heart with less room in it.]

A promise to the children 3 min

[The children are invited forward, or acknowledged where they are sitting, exactly according to what each of them chose beforehand.]

[Children’s names], this marriage is happening to you as well, and you did not get a vote in it. So [Partner A] and [Partner B] would like to make you a promise where everyone can hear it. Both of you, repeat after me.

We promise you a home where you are safe and welcome exactly as you are. We will not ask you to trade one family for another, or to feel about us the way we feel about each other. We will listen when you tell us something is hard. You did not choose this day, but you get to shape everything that comes after it, and we are glad you are here.

[If a child has chosen to answer, or to give something, or to say one line of their own, that happens now. If not, the officiant moves straight on with no remark.]

Declaration of intent 1 min

[Partner A], knowing everything you know about what a marriage asks, do you take [Partner B] to be your [wife / husband / partner], to love and to stand with, in good seasons and hard ones, for the rest of your life?

[Partner A]: I do.

And [Partner B], knowing everything you know about what a marriage asks, do you take [Partner A] to be your [wife / husband / partner], to love and to stand with, in good seasons and hard ones, for the rest of your life?

[Partner B]: I do.

The vows 3 min

Please face each other and take hands. [Partner A], repeat after me.

I, [Partner A], take you, [Partner B], to be my [wife / husband / partner]. I come to you with a history and without illusions, and I choose you anyway. I promise to tell you the truth early, to argue fairly, to make room for your family as well as mine, and to keep choosing this for the rest of my life.

And [Partner B], repeat after me.

I, [Partner B], take you, [Partner A], to be my [wife / husband / partner]. I come to you with a history and without illusions, and I choose you anyway. I promise to tell you the truth early, to argue fairly, to make room for your family as well as mine, and to keep choosing this for the rest of my life.

The rings 2 min

May we have the rings, please.

Neither of you is new to wearing a ring, so you already know what one is for. It is not a decoration and not a claim. It is a small daily reminder, on a hand you use all day long, of a promise you made in front of the people who love you.

[Partner A], place the ring on [Partner B]’s finger and repeat after me.

I give you this ring with everything I have already promised, and with both hands.

And [Partner B], repeat after me.

I give you this ring with everything I have already promised, and with both hands.

Pronouncement 1 min

[Partner A] and [Partner B], you have told the truth about where you came from, promised this family a home, and made your promises to each other in front of all of us. And so, by the power vested in me by the [state / jurisdiction], it is my very great joy to declare that you are married.

Kiss, both of you.

[The couple kisses, to applause. The officiant waits for it to crest.]

Recessional, as a family 1 min

Friends and family, please welcome, for the first time, [the newly married couple and their family, announced exactly as they wish].

[The couple leads the way out, with the children beside them if that is what the children chose.]