Bracketed lines are directions to perform, not lines to read aloud.
[The handler walks the pet around the empty ceremony space, takes them out one last time, and confirms where the water, the leash, the treats, and the bags are. The handler knows exactly where they will sit and which route they will take to leave.]
[To the handler, before guests arrive: your job today is the animal, not the wedding. If they need to go out, take them out. Do not wait to be told, and do not wait for a gap.]
[The wedding party enters. [Pet’s name] walks beside [handler’s name], on a leash, at the pace of whoever is next to them. The handler goes straight to a seat at the end of a row, near an exit, and stays there.]
Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome. Please, be seated.
And yes, that is [Pet’s name], who is a member of this family and is here today in an official capacity.
We are here for the marriage of [Partner A] and [Partner B]. Every person in these seats was chosen, and so, for that matter, was the dog. On behalf of the couple, thank you all for being here.
[Partner A] and [Partner B], what everyone here notices is how much more themselves you are together. [Add one short, true line about the couple.] Marriage will not create that. It protects it, on the ordinary days as much as this extraordinary one.
You are not promising to be perfect for each other. You are promising to be present, and to keep building a household the rest of us are glad to visit.
[Pet’s name] was here before this marriage was. [Say one true thing: who adopted them, what they came through, the walk they take every morning.] A good many couples find out whether they can share a life by sharing an animal first, and these two passed.
[If the pet is settled and willing, the handler brings them forward for a moment. If they are not, the handler does nothing at all, and the officiant carries straight on without remarking on it.]
[Pet’s name], we cannot ask you the questions we are about to ask them, and you would not answer honestly anyway. But you have been holding this household together for [number] years, and today it becomes official for the rest of us.
[The handler takes the pet back to their seat now, whatever the room’s reaction. This is the planned exit, and it happens on time.]
[Partner A], do you take [Partner B] to be your [wife / husband / partner], to love and to look after, in good seasons and hard ones, for as long as you both shall live?
[Partner A]: I do.
And [Partner B], do you take [Partner A] to be your [wife / husband / partner], to love and to look after, in good seasons and hard ones, for as long as you both shall live?
[Partner B]: I do.
Please face each other and join hands. [Partner A], repeat after me.
I, [Partner A], take you, [Partner B], to be my [wife / husband / partner]. I promise to be honest with you and gentle with you, to take my share of the early mornings and the hard days, and to keep choosing this household, all of it, for as long as I live.
And [Partner B], repeat after me.
I, [Partner B], take you, [Partner A], to be my [wife / husband / partner]. I promise to be honest with you and gentle with you, to take my share of the early mornings and the hard days, and to keep choosing this household, all of it, for as long as I live.
May we have the rings, please.
[The rings are brought forward by [name]. If the pet is wearing a ring pouch, it holds a stand-in pair and nobody opens it during the ceremony.]
[Partner A], place the ring on [Partner B]’s finger and repeat after me.
I give you this ring as a sign of my love and of everything I promised today. Wear it, and know that I am yours.
And [Partner B], repeat after me.
I give you this ring as a sign of my love and of everything I promised today. Wear it, and know that I am yours.
[Partner A] and [Partner B], you have declared your intention in front of everyone here, made your promises, and sealed them with rings. And so, by the power vested in me by the [state / jurisdiction], it is my great joy to declare that you are married. You may kiss.
[The couple kisses, to applause. The officiant lets it crest.]
Friends and family, for the very first time, please welcome [the newly married couple, announced as they wish], and [Pet’s name], who is going home for a nap.
[The couple leads the way out. The handler follows with the pet and takes them straight to the agreed quiet place, with water and shade, then home with the named person.]