Bracketed lines are directions to perform, not lines to read aloud.
Two flames lit separately, one candle lit together. The oldest of the unity rituals, and the one with the most decisions hiding inside it.
[Two taper candles stand lit on a small table, with one larger unlit candle between them. The table is set to the side, at a height that keeps it out of the couple’s faces in photographs, and nothing flammable is near it.]
Before [Partner A] and [Partner B] make their promises, they are going to light a candle together. The two small flames were lit by [names], one from each family, and they have been burning since before any of us sat down. The large candle between them has never been lit.
In a moment they will each take one flame and bring it to the same wick. It is a small thing to watch and a large thing to mean: two lives, lit separately and long before they met, agreeing to make one light between them that neither could make alone.
[Partner A], [Partner B], take up your candles and light this one together.
[Each partner lifts a taper, and together they light the center candle. The officiant stays silent until the flame is steady.]
[If the tapers stay lit: Notice that the two small flames are still burning. Nobody disappears into a marriage. You are each still yourselves, and now there is a third light in the world that exists only because you are together.]
[If the tapers are put out: They will set their candles down now. From today there is one household, one light, and one story being told by two people.]
[The couple returns to their places and the ceremony continues.]
Two colors poured into one vessel, permanently mixed. The ritual that works outdoors, works in wind, and works with children.
[A clear vessel stands on a small table, with one jar of colored sand for each person taking part. A lid or stopper is on the table beside it, and a cloth is underneath to catch what spills.]
[Partner A] and [Partner B] have each brought a color. In a moment they will pour them into the same vessel, at the same time, and from then on nobody on earth can separate them again. That is a stronger promise than anything I could say on their behalf.
[Partner A] and [Partner B], pour together, and take your time.
[The couple pours simultaneously, slowly, into the shared vessel. The officiant is silent throughout.]
[If there are children pouring: And this is not only about two people. [Child’s name], add yours. [Child’s name], and yours. What is being made here is a household, and every person in it is part of the color of it.]
[Each child pours in turn, named as they do. A child who chose not to take part is not mentioned, and the officiant moves on without a pause.]
Look at what that is now. Not two things kept carefully side by side, but one thing, which is what a household actually is.
[The officiant or a named helper seals the vessel and sets it safely aside for the rest of the ceremony.]
A bottle and two sealed letters nailed into a box, to be opened on a night years from now. The ritual that pays off long after the wedding.
[A wooden box sits on a table with a bottle inside it, two sealed letters, a mallet, and nails already started in the lid. The couple has not read each other’s letters.]
Inside this box is a bottle [of wine, or whatever these two actually drink] and two letters. [Partner A] wrote one to [Partner B], and [Partner B] wrote one back. Neither of them has read the other’s. They were written for a day that has not happened yet.
The instruction is simple. Open this box on [an anniversary they choose], or on any night when the two of you are further apart than you want to be. Open the bottle. Then read what the person you married today thought of you, before either of you knew a single thing about how this would go.
Put the letters in and close it, both of you.
[The couple places the letters in the box, closes the lid, and each drives a nail or two with the mallet. A named helper finishes the sealing afterward, away from the ceremony.]
That is sealed now, and it will keep. Some promises are made out loud in front of everyone. This one is written down and put away for a night when it will do the most good.
Soil from two family homes mixed at the roots of a young tree. The ritual for a couple who wants something that keeps growing after the day.
[A young potted tree stands on a low table or on the ground, with two containers of soil beside it and a small trowel. If family members are bringing soil, they are seated near the front with it ready.]
This soil came from [Partner A]’s family home, and this from [Partner B]’s. [Names] carried it here today. In a moment they will go into the same pot, around the roots of a tree that is going to live at [Partner A] and [Partner B]’s house.
Add your soil, both of you, and anyone else who brought some.
[The couple, and anyone else the couple has invited to take part, adds soil around the base of the tree. The officiant stays quiet.]
Nothing about this tree is finished today. It will need water it cannot get for itself, and light, and years. So will the marriage. Plant it where you will see it out of a window, and let it get on with the same work you are starting.
A complete ceremony with a marked slot for whichever ritual you chose, so the whole wedding can be performed from this page.
Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome. Please, be seated. We are here for the happiest of reasons: the marriage of [Partner A] and [Partner B], in front of the people they chose on purpose. Thank you all for being here.
In a few minutes these two are going to do something you can watch happen. Weddings are mostly words, and words are a hard thing to hold on to. So they have chosen a moment you will be able to see, and it will say what a paragraph could not.
What everybody here notices is how much more themselves you are together. [Add one short, true line about the couple.] Marriage will not change that so much as protect it. It is the decision to keep choosing each other, deliberately, on the ordinary days as much as this one.
[The chosen unity ritual happens here: the candle, the sand, the wine box, or the tree. Its introduction, its words, and its closing line come from that ritual’s script above.]
[Partner A], do you take [Partner B] to be your [wife / husband / partner], to love and to stand beside, in good seasons and hard ones, for as long as you both shall live?
[Partner A]: I do.
And [Partner B], do you take [Partner A] to be your [wife / husband / partner], to love and to stand beside, in good seasons and hard ones, for as long as you both shall live?
[Partner B]: I do.
Please face each other and join hands. [Partner A], repeat after me.
I, [Partner A], take you, [Partner B], to be my [wife / husband / partner]. I promise to be honest with you, to be kind to you, and to keep building this life with you for as long as I live.
And [Partner B], repeat after me.
I, [Partner B], take you, [Partner A], to be my [wife / husband / partner]. I promise to be honest with you, to be kind to you, and to keep building this life with you for as long as I live.
The rings, please. [Partner A], place this one on [Partner B]’s finger and repeat after me.
I give you this ring as a sign of my love and of everything I promised today.
And [Partner B], the same.
I give you this ring as a sign of my love and of everything I promised today.
[Partner A] and [Partner B], you have made something together in front of us, declared your intention, and given each other your promises. And so, by the power vested in me by the [state / jurisdiction], it is my great joy to declare that you are married. You may kiss.
[The couple kisses, to applause. The officiant lets it crest.]
Friends and family, for the very first time, [the newly married couple, announced as they wish].
[The couple leads the way out, the wedding party behind them.]