Traditional wedding vows
Updated August 2026
Traditional wedding vows are the promises almost everyone in the room is expecting to hear: for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both live. They have lasted because they are honest about what a marriage actually asks, and because they name the hard parts out loud instead of only the happy ones.
Three complete sets follow, all sayable word for word. The first is the full traditional shape in language a modern room understands, the second is the same promises trimmed for a short ceremony, and the third adds the children and family a great many couples are marrying into. Replace the bracketed names and you are ready.
Complete sets, ready to say
The classic promises
about 30 seconds eachThe default, and it is the default for good reason. Suits a formal ceremony, a family who wants to hear the words they know, and any couple who would rather not stand up and improvise.
One partner says
I, [Partner A], take you, [Partner B], to be my [wife / husband / partner], to have and to hold from this day forward.
For better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, I will love you and honor you, and I will keep faith with you alone, for as long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn promise.
The other partner says the same words, with the names swapped.
For repeat-after-me, break it exactly where the paragraphs break, and then again at each comma in the middle line. Six short phrases is about the most anyone can hold while being looked at by a hundred people.
The short traditional vow
about 15 seconds eachThe same promises in a third of the words. For a courthouse wedding, an elopement, or a ceremony where you want the traditional shape without the traditional length.
One partner says
I, [Partner A], take you, [Partner B], to be my [wife / husband / partner], for better and for worse, in sickness and in health.
I will love you and stand by you all the days of my life.
The other partner says the same words, with the names swapped.
This is a complete vow, not an abridgement that leaves something legally undone. What makes a marriage legal is the license and the declaration of intent, not the number of words in the promise.
The traditional vow, with family
about 40 seconds eachFor a marriage that arrives with children already in it. Says the second promise plainly rather than leaving the family to work out whether they were included.
One partner says
I, [Partner A], take you, [Partner B], to be my [wife / husband / partner], to have and to hold from this day forward.
For better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, I will love you and honor you, and I will keep faith with you alone, for as long as we both shall live.
And to [child’s name / your children], I make a promise of my own today: to look after you, to take your side, and to help build the home we are all going to live in. That promise is part of this one.
The other partner says the same words, with the names swapped.
If the children are old enough, ask them beforehand whether they would like to stand near you while this is said. Ask privately, and let no be an easy answer.
Notes on saying these well
What the traditional promises actually say
The traditional shape is four promises stacked in one sentence, and it is worth knowing what each of them is doing before you say it. "To have and to hold" is the claim of belonging. "For better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health" is the pair of extremes, and its whole job is to name the bad half out loud on the best day of your life. "Love and honor" is conduct rather than feeling. "As long as we both shall live" is the term.
That structure is why the traditional vow survives contact with a real marriage. It does not promise that you will always feel a certain way, which nobody can promise. It promises what you will do, which you can. If you write your own vows later in life, this is the skeleton worth borrowing.
Saying them so they do not sound recited
Everybody in the room knows these words, which cuts both ways: nothing is easier to follow, and nothing is easier to rattle off. The fix is pace. Say the first line to your partner rather than to the room, then slow down through the middle, then stop before the final promise and let it be its own sentence.
Practice standing up, out loud, at least twice, and practice the version you will actually use. If the officiant is going to feed you the vow a phrase at a time, rehearse it that way, because repeating after someone is a different skill from reading, and the first time you discover that should not be at the front of a church.
Write and perform every ceremony from one desk
RiteBinder is the booking desk and the writing desk in one: interview the couple, shape the script and the vows, and read from a podium that needs no signal on the day. Free to start.
Frequently Asked Questions
- What are the traditional wedding vows?
- The familiar promise to take someone as your spouse for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and honor them for as long as you both live. The wording varies between traditions, and the version on this page is written in modern English so a room hears it clearly.
- Do we have to say the traditional vows exactly?
- Unless you are marrying inside a tradition that requires a set form, no. The law cares about the license and about you both consenting in front of an authorized officiant; the wording of the promise is yours. If you are marrying in a church, synagogue, or temple, ask them first, because some do require their own text.
- Can we shorten traditional vows?
- Yes, and the short version on this page is complete rather than abridged. Nothing legal depends on length. Cutting one of the paired extremes weakens the vow more than shortening it does, so trim whole phrases rather than half of one.
- Should we repeat after the officiant or say it from memory?
- Repeat after the officiant unless you are very sure. Memory is the first thing to go when a hundred people are looking at you, and repeating a phrase at a time is invisible to guests. Reading from a card is fine too, and nobody has ever thought less of a couple for it.